You lose sleep and fall out of touch with the world for a while. Through it all, you grow both your knowledge and your capacity not only to love, but to accept and handle whatever comes your way. Your baby is fragile and perfect, despite the spit-up currently being spewed all over your favorite just-washed t-shirt.Īnd if you have a child who has special needs (as happened with our Josh), you go through yet another level of shifting (and fear). When you realize that you are a MOTHER, and that this tiny being relies on YOU for her every need, your entire self-concept is shattered–then rebuilt–in the same instant. Never could we have imagined someone being so dependent on us. (But we’re not thinking about all that silly stuff, are we?) The optimism is astounding.įor how can we possibly anticipate the up-and-down tidal wave of change charging our way? And soon enough, the mystical experience of birth sets it all in motion.Ģ) The “Reality” Stage (What? I’m a Mom? With a BABY?) We’ll be Mom of the Year, at least in our own family… right? And naturally, we’ll keep a perfect life balance and look our magazine-cover best at all times–even while feeding at 2 a.m. We will do it so much better than our parents did. We are certain that we will be patient and kind and encouraging and brilliant. This is our time for excitement, for nesting, and for envisioning who WE will become as a mother. They will change the world–starting with ours–in the most positive ways. We imagine our children as we wish them to be: happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, bringing delight into our hearts and homes, offering us unconditional love. When we’re happily expecting, we dream dreams with a new sense of purpose in the world. That said, if I were to title the process of raising an 18-year-old more accurately, I’d have to call it “The 6,570 Stages of Motherhood” because every day reveals something new! But for our purposes, let’s keep it easy and settle for the six main stages most mothers go through: In fact, I’d argue that being a mother has been the single MOST powerful growth experience of my life! And, while the highly abridged stages below are based upon my own observations as a mother to four children, aspects of this journey apply to anyone who has played the role of caretaker or nurturer.
What IS true, though, is this: Nurturing another life is a profound and transformative agent of change, both for those being nurtured and for ourselves. In fact, they are as unique to each parent and child as are fingerprints or snowflakes. *Allow me to begin with a disclaimer: No two mothering experiences have ever been the same.
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